Wow. Okay, I really have to tell you what happened last night (and more importantly the result of it!).
Grahame went to lunch with his grandma on Thursday. I got a text while I was in class from Grahame:
"grandmas orders, I have to take you on a date."
(the next text said ":)" lol)
I didn't have to work last night (Friday), and Grahame was free, too. So we went to one of our favorite restaurants, had a cannoli, and had a wonderful time. It's still fairly early, and Grahame asks if I want to go see what's playing at the $2 theater. (of course I said yes) And the only thing that was playing soon after our arrival was the Disney movie "Tangled", about Rapunzel. (FANTASTIC, I highly recommend it!! Grahame just may have *cough* laughed *cough*cough* as much as I did...*cough* :) It was really funny)
**DISCLAIMER** Some of my word choice may seem kind of funny and/or cheesy. Please just go with it. It's the truth, and it's really the only way to describe it.
So, I go through the whole movie relating to Rapunzel in almost every single way. She had been very sheltered (ok, so this one is a little more extreme for her since she is locked in a tower her entire 18-year life), and was very naive when it came to dealing with the world because she hadn't grown up in it. Seemingly from nowhere, the man she would end up falling in love with and marrying comes and takes her on an adventure. (you can see how Rapunzel and I are similar here, yes? :) ) And I just kept looking at her big, green eyes! Just like all fairytales, the handsome, brave young man saves her in the nick of time, but he dies in the process. (thank goodness that Rapunzel's tears are magical and have healing power!) So he lives again and they know now that they love each other. They share 'true love's kiss', and get married and live happily ever after. (Hang in there men, I'm getting to the point, I promise.)
So I can literally relate to pretty much everything that happens to her...except for one thing...
Toward the very end of it, something hit me right in the heart. I definitely didn't see it coming...There was a scene when Rapunzel--the lost princess--got reunited with the king and queen (her mother and father). There they both were, and there was Rapunzel. There was a short few seconds of them looking at her and her looking at them, and then her mother walked forward and embraced her. That was all fine and good, and a happy warm-fuzzy for the heart, just like anyone would expect it to be. But then, while Rapunzel was hugging her mom, she and her dad caught each other's eye. His eyes said, "welcome home" and hers gave away that she was ready to accept him as her father. He was like the final piece of a previously unfinished puzzle.Which made me realize that mine was still unfinished... And it just hit me where it hurt the most. (I'm tearing up right now just remembering it.)
I just remember thinking, "Oh... That's where my fairytale ends..." That was the one thing she had that I couldn't. Her biological father to welcome her home and to love her.
We walked out of the theater, Grahame putting his jacket chivalrously over my shoulders, and putting his arm around me. We got in the car and started driving, and I just couldn't get the king's face when he looks at his daughter out of my head. Grahame is so wonderful, he can tell pretty much instantly when something is wrong. And he doesn't stop asking me what's wrong until I tell him. (Thank you so much for that, Grahame.) And I said, "This may sound silly, but..." I told him how I had related to the movie so, so closely. And I told him about that one second when Rapunzel and her dad make eye contact for the first time. Grahame listened faithfully and attentively as I spoke through my sobbing. We got back to campus, where he would drop me off, but God wasn't finished with our evening yet.
Grahame parked the car as soon as he could, and I just wept and wept in his arms. I remember exclaiming through my tears, "It's not fair! It's just not fair!" more than once. And suddenly I found myself being comforted by more than one pair of arms. I don't think I've ever felt so physically comforted before by my Heavenly Father. Both of them were reminding me that I did have a Father. One who is Perfect in His Love for me, and He welcomes me constantly into His arms. God spoke both through Grahame in those moments and also directly to me.
All of a sudden, I noticed more emotions in me than just sorrow. I started to feel hope. I knew where it was coming from of course. And that Hope just spread right through me. I knew that everything was going to be okay (and more than just okay). Life suddenly had more potential than I had ever dreamed of. There was so much Hope for that fairytale ending because I knew that someday I would be welcomed home by the One who loves me the most.
Are you crying yet? 'Cause I've thrown away three tissues already.
And with that Hope came Peace and pure, unhindered Joy that penetrated my heart right down to the core. I was so overwhelmed by everything. I just couldn't stop crying. (Grahame, thank you again for your shoulder and for speaking the words God gave you to speak. They helped facilitate one of the most incredible encounters with God that I've ever experienced. And those words don't really cut it, but they're the closest things I have to convey what's in my heart to you right now.) And there goes tissue number four.
After all of that, God decided to instill a new purpose in me, and set my course toward a goal that I pray will bring Him glory, honor, and fame. Let me just say, it's an incredible feeling to have purpose. And to know that when you're working for the Lord, you are accomplishing great, and incredible things for His Name and Kingdom. It was like everything clicked. All of a sudden, I knew what I was being called to do.
I know that I'm a princess, my Father is the King of kings, after all. But how many girls are alive right now at this very moment who don't have an earthly father who don't know they have a Heavenly One? I couldn't tell you a number, but I know that it's entirely too many.
"I have to tell them. He wants me to tell them. They don't know what I know yet, and I'm the one that has to tell them. I have to. They have to know... They HAVE to know!" I found these words coming out of my mouth. So full of conviction and passion, I knew that there was a task (and not an easy one) that God was calling me to. There are so many girls out there who have been through what I have, and a lot of them have been through so much worse. They have to know the Hope that is found in the Father. They have to know that they are loved so, so dearly. They have to know that they are beautiful. They have to know that there is One who wants to welcome them home and to embrace them in His Powerful and Gentle arms.
If I don't tell them, who will? They have to know that there is Hope for this life, and Hope for eternity. They have to know that they are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). They have to know that the King is enthralled by their beauty (Psalm 45:11). They have to know that He helps them and rescues them; He saves them from the wicked, and they can go to Him for protection (Psalm 37:39-40).
And they have to know that they are worthy of being loved.
And I have to tell them.
