We're Too Trusting

Here's the thing about being human: I can think that I have something figured out or that I can trust myself to do the right thing, but the absolute truth is that my own nature, my very heart, is desperately flawed. So selfish. So wicked. So... sick and twisted.

I cannot put my trust in my own will. I cannot put my trust in my own strength. I cannot believe that I will do the right thing by default. My sin nature has far too strong of a pull for me to not be sucked into it if I don't fight it like the monstrosity that it is.

It's almost like I keep performing experiments in my life; experiments designed to test whether or not I can take a break and rest on what I know to hold me up, just for a little while. If it's an experiment, it fails every single time. It's like treading water. If I stop, I drown. It I let go of my awareness of my need to fight the water surrounding me-even for a moment-I'm doomed. The unforgiving waves swallow me whole. What I know isn't enough. Action is required.

The conclusion I come to after these many failed experiments is this:
I MUST remember always that I can't stop pushing against the water even for a second. If I do, it will swallow me whole, into the depths where I can't breathe. It will consume me.

So it is with the christian walk. Our sinful, selfish nature has so strong of a pull that we naturally can't resist it's charms. Friends, we don't stand a chance! Not on our own.

The good news is that we aren't (or at least shouldn't be) trying to resist it on our own. When we decide that our selfishness can't deliver the satisfaction that it promised, we can look to the One who is everything we need and more. He can satisfy our souls like nothing on this earth can. Everything here is temporary, but He is Eternal. There is literally no end to Him! So not only can He quench our deepest thirsts in the here and now, but He will never run out on us.

What I really want to get at is the fact that we can't fight our sinfulness with our own strength. But that's where He steps in. His Strength is bigger. Let's not think that we can just relax and let Him act. It requires a very conscious and intentional choice on our part to rely on His Strength and not our own. Our strength fails because at our very core, we don't actually want to fight off our self-seeking, self-gratifying, self-glorifying nature. We think we really are the bomb, but we're so not. At His core, He desires for us to be in unhindered relationship with Him. He wants the absolute best for us. And His Strength is bigger than all of the ugliness that we would see in ourselves if we chose to look.

Friends, I want to urge and encourage us all to not stop fighting against the current that would sweep us far away from Him. I write this to tell you how important it is that we are always vigilant of the fact that our nature wants nothing to do with Him; it wants nothing to do with anything that will actually bring us fulfillment. Our nature says that we must always look out for ourselves because no one else is going to. But that's a lie. He is in pursuit of what's best for us even more than we are.

We must, must, must choose to keep treading the water. Even when we're tired. His strength will carry us through.
-Carly

No such thing as a shortcut

So maybe this is one of those "Duh, Carly. Why did that take you so long to figure out?" sort of things, but what I've really started to realize is that ...wow... there are no shortcuts for walking with the Lord. Did that blow anyone else's mind besides mine?

So David and I changed what our diet looks like back in August (#shoutout #nutritarianlifestyle) and we've been loving it! But one thing about eating healthy is that if in, say, one week you chose to replace one all-too-american-cheeseburger-and-fries meal with a salad, you're probably not going to make a lot of progress on any health or fitness goals. Just taking a diet pill or juicing things doesn't get you to where you want to be (at least not in the best and healthiest ways possible). I didn't log on to talk about physical food, though. Here's my point: Walking in a daily relationship with God is exactly the same way.

Just like food, which takes a conscious choice every single meal, learning to lean on Jesus takes a conscious choice every single moment. This seems like bad news for people like me who really take a lot to get motivated to do something that is so constant.

Here's what I'm good at (or starting to get good at):
     Reading my bible most days of the week
     Praying for other people on a regular basis
     Going to church
     Going to bible study (we call it "Gospel Community" at our church, or "GC")
     Hanging out with believing friends
     Admitting how much I stink to my accountability partner (or "Fight Club" partner)

And here's my struggle:
     Meaningfully connecting with God on a daily basis
     Remembering how much He loves me
     Recognizing how He passionately pursues me (even though I don't deserve it!)
     Remembering how much and how desperately I need Him because I can't do it
     Remembering that He is pleased with me because when He looks at me, He sees Jesus' good and perfect deeds, not the mess I continuously make of myself

And I can't help but notice that everything in the first section is something that you can cross off of a to-do list, while all things in the second section involve my heart at a deeper level.

There was a time when my relationship with Him was so incredibly rich that I felt like I didn't lack a thing. And I've been through seasons where I don't know what to do except go through to motions until something happens to change the connectivity issue. And when I'm in those seasons, I feel so powerless to change it at all. (Which is probably because I am powerless...but God isn't!)

And the issue that I've realized lately is that there are no shortcuts to being connected to God in a meaningful, life-altering kind of way. What it's going to take is an intentional, consistent letting down of the barriers that surround my heart that I've grown accustomed to just leaving up. And I don't think I have that issue with other people, just with God. I think, in part, because He scares me. He could ask me to do anything, and I would have no choice but to go along with it. There's a lot of "safety" in distancing yourself from the Creator...but then He can't create new things inside of you, or through you for that matter. #thestruggleisREAL, especially when it comes to wanting Him more than I want my comfort.

So I want to "commit" to Him. I want to commit to daily seeking His heart. I want to know Him richly again. And there are no shortcuts. #whew #herewego

#sorryforthehashtags #Ithinktheyrefunny

Carly W